Greetings,
I have been going through this exact 'friendship challenge' with two friends that have a one-sided friendship in a self-centered kind of way and that always ask me to forgive them for ignoring my side of needs... then they go right back to the same self-centerd ways, only to after a while when I get tired of their 'my mountain is so big' or 'I am so blessed' one sided comments and I tell them to stop and realize I need equal time in a true friendship, again they recognize they had been ignoring me and ask for my forgiveness which of course I do forgive them... then the whole cycle start again... so, this article by Dr. Larry Ollison on "Unforgiveness" gives me a point of reference in my 'shaking their friendship tree' to see if a 'friendship fruit' will fall and we can have a real relationship or if I must walk away from one or both of them after so many years...
So, friends and everyone that has friends, beware and be aware of how you use your friends and their friendships and how to react to their 'friendship challenge' and forgive and stay friends or forgive and move on...
* Unforgiveness is a Negative Witness by Dr. Larry Ollison
Why is it that the devil is attacking so much in offenses and in the area of unforgiveness? In John 10:10 it says the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. Jesus came to give us abundant life.
If the devil wants to kill, what does he want to kill? He wants to kill us, but actually he wants to kill the work of God, steal the work of God, and destroy the work of God in your life. He wants to get at God through the body of Jesus that is here on this earth. He wants to destroy the ministry of Jesus Christ. His goal is to get you tied up in unforgiveness and in offense so you will be weak and without joy (Nehemiah 8:10).
What do you do? You decide you are going to let the offense go. Who decides if you are going to let it go? Who decides if you are going to forgive? You do! The person who has been offended and hurt has to make the decision.
Paul said, "forgetting what lies behind I press on." God forgives and forgets and we must be like God. We have to choose to forget. Forgetting does not mean that you don’t remember. You still remember, but the surge of anger that you normally would feel when you remember isn’t there. You remember it only as an historical event. You don’t remember it with the pain.
When we start seeing people the way God sees people, we are not going to be offended and we are not going to be unforgiving toward things they do and say.
You can choose what you think about. The battle of faith takes place in the mind and the devil is the king of guilt. He’ll try to make you remember your past. Is it your past that keeps you from going forward, or is it your present attitude about your past that keeps you from going forward?
Unforgiveness will affect your sanity. Have you ever been around somebody that won’t let go of unforgiveness? The Bible says to think on certain things, which means you can control what you think. It’s a lie to say, “I can’t help what I think.”
Unforgiveness will make you open bait for the devil. You’ve got to realize that the devil is trying to pull you into a trap – everyday. The easiest trap he has is offenses and unforgiveness. Once he gets you in there, you are trapped.
You may be trying to go on with your ministry. You may be trying to witness to a person you are working with. I know of a man who has been trying to witness to a co-worker for years. I’ll be honest with you. He will never witness to him and get him saved in his current condition. Why is that? Because in his current condition he is offended and he has unforgiveness and it just pours out of him. While that unforgiveness is pouring out of him, he’s trying to witness to his co-worker. Witnessing is taking place, only it’s a negative witness instead of a positive one. The co-worker is probably thinking to himself, “If that guy is a Christian, I don’t want what he has. He’s a mess. He’s mental.” The world calls this being a hypocrite.
Second Timothy 2:25-26 talks about how we come to the truth. We hear the truth, we come to our senses and we escape the snare of the devil. The devil hopes you won’t be smart enough to forgive. The devil wants you to be stupid when it comes to forgiveness. But forgiveness is the key to being set free. Forgiveness is possible in every situation. Forgiveness is a choice. That choice is totally ours.
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God's blessings!
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"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed" -Prov 16:3
"Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]" -Eph. 3:20
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you & not to harm you, plans to give you hope & a future." Jer. 29:11
"In this new life one's nationality, race, education, social position is unimportant; such things mean nothing. Whether a person has Christ is what matters, & He is equally available to all" Col.3:11
"The key to godliness is not more knowledge of God but more obedience to Him" -Rom.6:16
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